Feeling like a loser

20.01.2010
I am writing this blog… in a state of mind where I am feeling like a loser. The feeling is unjustified… irrational…. Yet it seems to encompass my being. I wonder why we feel like a loser..( mind it …the feeling is quite different from the one you get when you have lost something) . I guess you feel like a loser when you are not able to live up to your own expectations. The expectations we have from ourselves…. our sense of self worth…. our own sense of what should be….when this gets disturbed we feel like a loser. So what is this feeling….. its very difficult to explain… it’s a strange kind of void…. A numbness…. Which shrieks in your ear…. And makes you want to disappear.
When you think objectively, you feel that this whole sense of being a loser is just a figment of imagination… just like one of my friends commented is not a mature behavior. But life is not objective…. Life is reactive and extreme…. And no man has ever been mature. Yesterday, I saw a video… even ‘eagles need a push’ which spoke on how to lead a meaningful life….. and the first pointer in that prescription was ‘self appreciation’. Never had I understood how important self appreciation is than now. There are times in one’s life when all your beliefs stand against you…. There are times when you fail miserably in your own eye… and this is when you perhaps need a pat on your back… you need to tell yourself that you are special and everything will turnout right for you. The commandment is easier said than done, and hence here I go again…feeling down and out….. with no direction home… like a rolling stone.