Returned from home two weeks back... and as usual with a mixed feeling...Somehow whenever I go home.. there is a sense of restlessness.. a weird feeling that this is not constant. I guess it comes from the fact that some where subconsciously you know... this is just a fleeting change to the normal affairs. Then again there is this understanding that even going back does not mean home. Staying away from family... alone in another city is a strange experience... one that I suggest all should go through.. It is like living in a state of illusion.... a gap between two lives.... like the clutch that connects two boggies of a train. Many of us love to stay alone...... ( at least they say they do) and some of us just get used to it. I feel I may never get used to the concept... nor love it. My residence for past two years ... does not seem like home.. yet my home does not give me a feeling of constancy.
I wonder how many individuals keep traveling all their life... never settling down ... never having a permanent residence.. Somewhere I read that home is where the heart is... and I guess that's absolute truth and hence the confusion.My heart is split between my family and my career and as of today.. both run on parallel tracks literally.
Hence now the quest would be to reconcile the both.... some how ... some way..
Friday, February 20, 2009
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