Future scope

Just booked the tickets to go home.... have become incessantly restless...hence need to touch base every three months... There is a unique charm to go back where you belong. Every time My flight descends down.. it feels great.... I dunno the feeling is fresh and new as always...Hmnnn just feeling good about going.... hope some winds of change would be on my way by then...

Dark clouds have come....

Saying goes... when the going gets tough ...... the tough gets going... but I guess for me it gets only tougher. Was expecting a good news for quite some time.... was hoping things would turn up as I wanted... had prayed fervently.... any ways the dark clouds are really overhead for me. Feeling really low.... a bengali song is coming to my mind.. ' ek ek ta din mashrin... bhortheke shuru kore raater shojja.. ek ek ta din boro berangin..'( some days are smooth from the dawn to the dusk... some days are colourless...)
Looking back, last month was hectic ...chaotic but positive in all terms.... this month started on a grim note... Deep within I guess I can't kill the optimist in me... and hence still hoping against hope.Hope ..the only refuge that you have... the only feeling.. that keeps you alive and kicking... hope .. the only flame that would keep the spirits high.... Hope ... we need you desperately... today.. here in Pat... in the corridors of TAJ.... in Kidderpore... hope we need you today and tomorrow...

Finally.. death comes

Meshomoni died today... some 15 minutes back... still can't believe it. Just wondering what is more painful... death or the aftermath of the same. It is weird how we put so much emphasis on a thing that is completely out of our control... dunno ... what is life... is it the physical phenomena.. of breathing in and out or the intangible set of relations and emotions... You always hear the body is mortal and not important... what is vital is the soul.. But I wonder what is the soul without the body...today meshomoni is no more.... his body is cold... his face still real to me.... Is it going to be the same tomorrow...
I just wonder that if body is not important.... then why do we miss the person... why the person does not exist in the soul... guess we cannot look beyond our senses... the touch.. feel... hear makes all the unreal true... and the absence of the same makes all truth... however universal ... meaningless.
Mutterings as usual.... feeling a strange pain... and want to be home .. desperately...... can't be of much help either way.... just praying to God that strength and courage be abound... thank God for giving me the chance to help Mani.. when it needed..